Monday, May 3, 2010

Dear You

A whole month, I'm sorry.
I'm busy.
But this one is important.
I'll start with the frills.
I am playing Maurice in Beauty and the Beast. I love Encore.
I got a main character for our drama showcase.
Life is pretty good.
Now onto a totally different topic.

Today there was a hater.
I don't take criticism well, I admit it. But I usually am obsessed with it for a few minutes, then it's gone.
Today it lingers.
I don't know why, but it does.
Maybe because it was from a friend. Maybe because I thought highly of her.
Maybe because I gave her my trust.
Whatever it was, it just caused this insult to linger.

I've been working on my voice for over 5 MONTHS.
I just want to be good, not great, not amazing. Good.
I doubt myself. Always. I'm insecure.
Isn't everyone?
But you hurt me, personally.
No matter what everyone says to me now, that seed of "I can't", will always be there.

No, you can't sweet talk me.
You can't try to make up, I heard EXACTLY what you said.
Don't say you didn't because YOU DID.
Thanks for the bluntness, but doesn't everyone have an off day?
Just say it and be done, don't go that far.

If you think I'm overreacting, you might be right.
But it's my life, not yours.
What you said today, was just rude.
Don't tell me I can't do anything.
I can, and I will.
I'll be the best, or at least I'll give it my best.

So thanks for the FRIENDS who have talked me through everything. Every time, not just today.
That's what friends are for, right?
I owe you, and don't be afraid to tell me that.
I do, I don't deserve you guys.
But you're all awesome.
And when you guys leave me at high school, I think I may shed a tear, not gonna lie.
I'll have a whole year by myself, but I'll see you I think.
I hope.

Well to all you haters, not just my haters, ANYONE WHO HATES ON ANYONE.
Go find WHY you're a hater, and maybe just try not to do it.
Try to be less hurtful, even when you think you aren't.
That's what I am gonna try.

Sorry for the rant,
One Geek,
Grant

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